The joy!! Oh my god the immense joy from being able to dialogue and just share all the things that you love. And the constant restraining from doing so which builds up and turns into anxiety and shitty feelings because we don’t want to be too much.
I’m only part through and everything you are saying!!!! Oh my fucking god, intellectual intimacy- just sent that to my friend who was lecturing me on how it doesn’t seem like I’m meeting up with men to date because I get excited over our intellectual connections or if they are an expert in something I’m not- yes learning is so connecting for me. Or that one my most intimate connection with a man was when we shared our fav books and read each others fav.
Then you say translational tax- I have been saying a version of this forever to try and explain shit and why I get so exhausted interacting with humans.
Thank thank thank you for putting this all into words that I can relate to, share etc.
I’m already feeling guilty about all the other things I will want to comment on because I’m only part way through the read… too much
You can’t imagine how meaningful this is to hear. As I just said to someone else: it means a lot to know this landed with like minded folks I respect; that I captured a shared experience in a resonant way. Something I see in myself and a lot of other ND folks is we can’t fake enthusiasm, but when we are enthusiastic it is big and genuine. Double special. Appreciate you and your genuine enthusiasm. Never make that smaller in my comments, should you return. Your brightest biggest excitement is welcome. Depending what’s going on I may or may not be able to respond in full reciprocity but it will mean A LOT to me and I love the idea of having spaces where our fullness is welcomed and well received, especially and in particular because that’s been mostly denied for so long. Thank you Elizabeth 💕
I’m so glad it landed for you 💕 I’d be curious what your partner thinks and/or how your understanding of them may have been influenced. Everyone experiences their divergence differently and what I appreciate most about the pieces I included is how strengths based they are. It’s an exciting/empowering perspective.
love so much about this post, and very much need to study the institutional narcissism section in a LOT more detail... But this nerdy girlie loved you sharing your Clifton strengths heaps! Mine are;
Your top 5 Clifton Strengths are:
Input - You have this beautiful need to collect and archive information, like a curator of knowledge who sees value in gathering what others might overlook.
Learner - There’s this genuine passion you have for the process of learning itself. The journey matters as much as the destination, and you find joy in understanding how things work.
Intellection - Your mind loves intellectual activity. You think deeply, process thoroughly, and find meaning in contemplation and analysis.
Connectedness - You hold this faith in the links among all things. You see patterns and relationships that others miss, understanding how everything weaves together in the bigger picture.
Ideation - Ideas fascinate you, and you excel at finding connections between seemingly unrelated concepts. Your brain naturally generates new possibilities and creative solutions.
Oh man we are almost brain twins 😂 thanks so much for sharing!! Lovely to meet you and thank you for engaging with the work, I’m so happy you found yourself reflected 💕
also, on a more personal note i hope is acceptable... your voice is probably the most soothing voice i've heard in quite a while... it's very pleasant. there's a massive chasm of difference between being told constantly to "calm down" & hearing something that actually calms. at this point, i would pay for that. i would pay for loyalty. consider me an ally. (not performative).
I feel stuck for something to say that isn’t trite and really really does mean a lot to hear that. Making others feel welcome/seen/heard/supported/cared for…all that matters to me a lot. Knowing my voice can do variations of that for you at a distance is very fulfilling and it is very generous of you to share that with me. Thank you 💕
i wonder if you’d let me share with you a little riddle poem i wrote recently for some of the help i’m trying to get & just give me your opinion on it? is that asking too much? i have no one to ask.
there's no way in hell i'd ever be able to do two posts a week. i've got an invisible tornado over my head with no quality outlet, no quality interaction, no quality connection, no quality feedback, the more i post, the less it matters... this is exhausting, depleting, draining, dehumanizing & i don't know how much longer i can keep this up. my disbelief is at war with this reality. i haven't felt seen in so long, i don't know if i'd recognize it. i cannot do any of this alone anymore. if there's a "spectrum", i'm the quantum oscillation of it. people want to reach out to that, right?
Pouring our souls out through words and having it seem to go unnoticed is painful. I was talking to chatgpt about that experience, sort of how substack can be strange where there’s pieces with thousands of likes and comments and then almost everything else is crickets and it told me when content is substantive, actually about things that matter, people are more likely to sit with it than start firing off likes and comments. Also that a lot of ‘dark sharing’ happens where friends forward essays by email or text, sharing that can’t be tracked easily. To say, sometimes we’re reaching more people than we know. And also that doesn’t change the experience of sharing into a void. I’m sorry that’s been your experience. I often think of how heartbreaking and sort of violent it would be if real life engagement worked like online engagement. It really clarifies how dehumanizing online spaces can be.
1. Exploitation of Passion and Labour 🚩- public education teaching in one sentence
I am daughter and sister and cousin to teachers: BIG YES. Y’all are heroes and shockingly underpaid and under valued.
The joy!! Oh my god the immense joy from being able to dialogue and just share all the things that you love. And the constant restraining from doing so which builds up and turns into anxiety and shitty feelings because we don’t want to be too much.
Precisely. The friends and spaces that welcome this are to be protected at all costs.
I’m only part through and everything you are saying!!!! Oh my fucking god, intellectual intimacy- just sent that to my friend who was lecturing me on how it doesn’t seem like I’m meeting up with men to date because I get excited over our intellectual connections or if they are an expert in something I’m not- yes learning is so connecting for me. Or that one my most intimate connection with a man was when we shared our fav books and read each others fav.
Then you say translational tax- I have been saying a version of this forever to try and explain shit and why I get so exhausted interacting with humans.
Thank thank thank you for putting this all into words that I can relate to, share etc.
I’m already feeling guilty about all the other things I will want to comment on because I’m only part way through the read… too much
You can’t imagine how meaningful this is to hear. As I just said to someone else: it means a lot to know this landed with like minded folks I respect; that I captured a shared experience in a resonant way. Something I see in myself and a lot of other ND folks is we can’t fake enthusiasm, but when we are enthusiastic it is big and genuine. Double special. Appreciate you and your genuine enthusiasm. Never make that smaller in my comments, should you return. Your brightest biggest excitement is welcome. Depending what’s going on I may or may not be able to respond in full reciprocity but it will mean A LOT to me and I love the idea of having spaces where our fullness is welcomed and well received, especially and in particular because that’s been mostly denied for so long. Thank you Elizabeth 💕
Great episode ❤️
I’m so glad it landed for you 💕 I’d be curious what your partner thinks and/or how your understanding of them may have been influenced. Everyone experiences their divergence differently and what I appreciate most about the pieces I included is how strengths based they are. It’s an exciting/empowering perspective.
love so much about this post, and very much need to study the institutional narcissism section in a LOT more detail... But this nerdy girlie loved you sharing your Clifton strengths heaps! Mine are;
Your top 5 Clifton Strengths are:
Input - You have this beautiful need to collect and archive information, like a curator of knowledge who sees value in gathering what others might overlook.
Learner - There’s this genuine passion you have for the process of learning itself. The journey matters as much as the destination, and you find joy in understanding how things work.
Intellection - Your mind loves intellectual activity. You think deeply, process thoroughly, and find meaning in contemplation and analysis.
Connectedness - You hold this faith in the links among all things. You see patterns and relationships that others miss, understanding how everything weaves together in the bigger picture.
Ideation - Ideas fascinate you, and you excel at finding connections between seemingly unrelated concepts. Your brain naturally generates new possibilities and creative solutions.
Oh man we are almost brain twins 😂 thanks so much for sharing!! Lovely to meet you and thank you for engaging with the work, I’m so happy you found yourself reflected 💕
Haha love the thought of almost brain twins, so lovely to meet you too and look forward to reading more of your stuff 🥰
also, on a more personal note i hope is acceptable... your voice is probably the most soothing voice i've heard in quite a while... it's very pleasant. there's a massive chasm of difference between being told constantly to "calm down" & hearing something that actually calms. at this point, i would pay for that. i would pay for loyalty. consider me an ally. (not performative).
I feel stuck for something to say that isn’t trite and really really does mean a lot to hear that. Making others feel welcome/seen/heard/supported/cared for…all that matters to me a lot. Knowing my voice can do variations of that for you at a distance is very fulfilling and it is very generous of you to share that with me. Thank you 💕
i wonder if you’d let me share with you a little riddle poem i wrote recently for some of the help i’m trying to get & just give me your opinion on it? is that asking too much? i have no one to ask.
Yes dm it to me! I am leaving for a trip in the morning and might be a bit slow to reply depending but absolutely 💕
no rush, no pressure. thank you.
i have no quality connections with anyone. asking for help has taken a brutal toll on me.
have you heard the term "imaginal cell" yet? there's a machine head song with that title.
much appreciated.
there's no way in hell i'd ever be able to do two posts a week. i've got an invisible tornado over my head with no quality outlet, no quality interaction, no quality connection, no quality feedback, the more i post, the less it matters... this is exhausting, depleting, draining, dehumanizing & i don't know how much longer i can keep this up. my disbelief is at war with this reality. i haven't felt seen in so long, i don't know if i'd recognize it. i cannot do any of this alone anymore. if there's a "spectrum", i'm the quantum oscillation of it. people want to reach out to that, right?
Pouring our souls out through words and having it seem to go unnoticed is painful. I was talking to chatgpt about that experience, sort of how substack can be strange where there’s pieces with thousands of likes and comments and then almost everything else is crickets and it told me when content is substantive, actually about things that matter, people are more likely to sit with it than start firing off likes and comments. Also that a lot of ‘dark sharing’ happens where friends forward essays by email or text, sharing that can’t be tracked easily. To say, sometimes we’re reaching more people than we know. And also that doesn’t change the experience of sharing into a void. I’m sorry that’s been your experience. I often think of how heartbreaking and sort of violent it would be if real life engagement worked like online engagement. It really clarifies how dehumanizing online spaces can be.
then let’s invent the solution to it.